I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
