well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Im just a social blackout drinker.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize