I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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