if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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