i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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