i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
