I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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