i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
