even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize