CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize