Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
