and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
