i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
