youre lurking in front of me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
