You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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