we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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