There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
