normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
