did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
