I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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