i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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