Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
