So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
