Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
