I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
