their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
