All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
