dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am one with the molecules
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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