Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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