Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
