Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
