Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
