hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
