Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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