Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
