the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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