well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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