I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
