Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
