Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
