I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
