you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
