At least make sure they are 18
Why
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My ass is underappreciated
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
