just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
