those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
