I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Where is the hickey?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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