We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
