It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
