So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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