This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
foreskin is a definite game changer
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
