So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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