At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
