Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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