I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Alive.
So much puke
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
