I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
