You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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