What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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