We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
