dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
All the doctor said was why
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
