Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
