btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
