i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
