Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize