I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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