yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
