This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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