Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
