Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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