i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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